Bob and Kathy's Adventures with Ferals, Part V



August 24, 1998

Hi Everyone,

Ready for one more edition of Adventures with Kathy and Bob? Here goes:

When we last left the Rude Ranch, the situation was:

Bob and Kathy had decided to adopt the first feral kitten we caught this year. (Formerly MsNoName, now called Maggie Mae, her nick name is STOP THAT Maggie!!!)

Of the five additional feral kittens that we caught, one (Brownie) was still living in the third bedroom with Mama Kitty, while the other four were happily romping around the second bedroom. Bob had been recruiting people he works with to come play with the kittens at lunch in a effort to socialize them (the kittens, not Bob's coworkers) better.

Mama Kitty was continuing her plans to do away with the human race. Yep thats right, she was planning to create some kind of electronic pulse that would automatically destroy all office coffee makers. I guess she figured that would bring the world to a screeching halt.

The original Rude cats were still less then thrilled with this situation, after all, they still had the diet food, while the yummy kitten food was being consumed in the second and third bedrooms. Additionally, they now had to contend with this little rug rat kitten (Maggie) who loved nothing more than to pounce on the "big" cats.

Bob and Kathy were still setting the Have a Heart trap, working at Bob's sister's restaurant (Uncle Nicky's), and working at the Census Bureau. We were hoping to start being able to get some sleep some time soon.

Before going into the latest happenings at the Ranch, Bob and I want to mention a couple of things:

Those of you who live in the Bowie area may have noticed a new restaurant called Tia's has opened. Although it may be entirely coincidental that this restaurant bears the same name as the feline ruler of the house. Bob and I are suspicious and will start monitoring how Tia spends her allowance more closely. At least we would like a cut of the profits.

Those of you who live near us may have noticed about eight police cars in front of our house the other day. We want to state that the police were not responding to any kind of secret SOS or any other type messages that Mama Kitty may have sent out. Our next door neighbor, who is a police officer hit Bob's car. Once the word got out on the police radio that our neighbor had been in a car accident practically in her own driveway, the other officers in the area starting coming by to give her a hard time about it. Guess you could call it an extreme case of friendly fire.

Lastly, Billie Jo (the second Rude cat in to take up residence here) would like to add a personal note to all other kitties: It is not always a good idea to reach up and claw open plastic grocery bags when your human is carrying one around the house. Especially when the grocery bag in question has been used as an integral component for the task of cleaning out the litter boxes. The results may not be what you expected.

Now, on with the adventures:

As we mentioned earlier, Brownie was still with Mama Kitty in the third bedroom. Brownie was getting bored and restless, afterall, he was a three month old kitten with lots of energy. He wanted to run and play. He wanted someone to play with. Mama Kitty was less than interested in playing with him. She was still too busy plotting to end the human race. Brownie liked to play with the assorted phone cables that Bob would dangle in front of him, but Mama was less than thrilled with this. Brownie was also still rather skittish about being handled and petted. In a nutshell, he was getting somewhat tame, but still not tame enough to be a pet. In order to finish working with him, we had to separate him from Mama. We were worried about how to get him away from Mama, considering her reaction when Hissor and Hissetta were removed. Fortunately, Brownie took matters into his own paws one morning. When we opened the door to go in the bedroom to feed them, he ran out. This was too easy!! All we had to do was catch him, dump some Advantage on him and put him in the second bedroom with the rest of the kittens. Once again luck was on our side that morning when we tried to catch him. Ashley and Billie Jo were only about twenty feet away, and were less than pleased to come nose to nose when another kitten. Apparently, two irritated, hissing females were too much for this little boy. He turned tail and ran into our arms. Shortly after, he was romping around the second bedroom with his brothers and sisters. Although he was a little shy at first, Brownie quickly settled down and started participating in all the kitty games. He also became quite affectionate with Bob and I, earning the title "Junior Lap Fungus".



Brownie

The kittens had also reached the size and age were they could be safely "fixed" and get their rabies' shots. In an act of either bravery or stupidity, we made an appointment for all the kittens on the same day. Our first obstacle was to take the kittens' food away the night before -- at least our neighbors didn't call the police to report someone being murdered at the house. Our next obstacle was to get the kittens to the vet. This task would probably have been easier if we had 5 kitty carriers and a large van to carry them in. However, we have 3 kitty carriers and Bob and I haven't matured enough to drive anything bigger than a 2 seater sports car. So we had to make do. Our plan was to put three kittens in the biggest carrier and the two remaining kittens would get stuffed into the next biggest carrier. Fortunately, the kittens had started mounting coordinated escape attempts from the room anyway, so we figured all we had to do would be to put the carrier up to the door, open the door a crack, and the kittens would be so anxious to get out of the room they would run into the carrier. At least it sounded like a good plan to Bob and I. What we forgot to consider was the "Emergency Rear Spring Activation System (ERSAS)" that comes as standard equipment on all cat models. That's right, instead of running full speed into the carrier, the kittens ran, sprang up and over the carrier and took off for parts unknown of the house. The next 45 minutes resembled something of a three ring circus with Bob and I chasing down the kittens, putting one in the carrier, having another kitten jump out of the carrier to be chased down again, and the Rude cats running along side, coaching the kittens on spots to get into that we wouldn't be able to get the kittens out of. In the end, the kittens did end up in the carriers, the carriers did fit in my car (yeah, I know we should have checked first), Bob and I ended up in the car and exhausted. The corker was that we hadn't even left the house yet. We still had to stop and check the trap to see if we had caught another one of the ferals.

Fortunately, the trap was empty, and we headed to the vet's clinic, once there, we found the vet's assistant wasn't there yet, but he was ready to start working on the cats. Could we assist him while he started neutering the male kittens? At least I didn't pass out while he was operating.

A few days later, the kittens were up and running around, impervious to the fact that they had just had major surgery. However, they did still have a serious case of round worms. In addition, Maggie had been sneaking into the room to play with the kittens (actually she was in there bossing them around, but that's another story) meaning although she had already been treated for roundworms, she might have picked them up again. Also because Maggie shares litter boxes with the other cats, she might have infected the rest of the Rude cats. Lastly, we were pretty sure that Mama kitty also had worms. That meant another trip to the vet for more yellow goop. The vet said this medicine tasted like egg custard and that the cats would love it. I didn't bother to ask him how he knew what the medicine tasted like, I just accepted it. This time the staff didn't even try to fix us separate syringes of the medicine. They just handed us the bottle and a handful of syringes and said "good luck".

Although I wasn't looking forward to giving 11 cats various amounts of worming medicine, I was determined. After all, it was getting close to dinner time, I figured that I would just pop the medicine down the cat's throats, then they could have their dinner. I started with the kittens. Brownie came up to me first, caught him, and got most of the goop in him. One small victory. On to the next kitten, Hissor. Well, I got most of it in him. However, by now the kittens were on to me, and were getting harder to catch. Goldie was the most interesting. Rather than swallow the medicine as I shot it into his mouth, he just let it run back out. At least I think I got some of it in him. Now it was time to get the Rude cats. I'm not sure if it was the fact that by now I was wearing a fair amount of the yellow goop, or the slightly crazed expression on my face. Maybe the kittens alerted them, but there wasn't a Rude cat around on any floor of the house. I tried running the can opener, (the feline equivalent of the dog whistle) no dice. They weren't falling for that one. I popped open a can of their favorite food. At least Maggie showed up. Due to the fact that she had just about finished cleaning the worming medicine from her fur, she was less than enthusiastic about taking more worming medicine. However, I managed to get most of the medicine inside her mouth, with just enough getting into her fur to make a mohawk. Now I had to change my strategy and go after specific cats. You see the amount of medicine given to the cat depends on the cat's weight. Billie Jo weighs in at 8 pounds, meaning she should get 1.4 cc's of medicine, while Ghost, at 16 pounds needed 3 cc's of medicine. So I had to pre-load my syringes accordingly, and chase down specific cats. Let's just say I'm glad no one saw my "mad doctor" scene as I was chasing down the cats with my "evil medicine" at hand.

As I mentioned earlier, the kittens have started getting bored with their room. To combat this they have started mounting break out attempts whenever we open the door to their room. Usually, the kittens will only run into a bathroom, or the master bedroom, and will come back in a few minutes, (shaking a can of Pounce treats still works wonders on them) On one such escape, Hissor got brave and went down the steps to the second floor, where he met Ghost. Apparently, Hissor had never seen a cat as big as Ghost, because he stopped cold in his tracks and his eyes got big as saucers. In a complete panic Hissor took off at top speed through the living room, the dining room and into the kitchen where he promptly lost all footing on the vinyl floor. (The upper story of the house is carpeted, so he had never been on a vinyl floor before) Ghost, who was totally fascinated by this miniature version of herself was behind him all the way, thereby further freaking him out. The harder he tried to get away from Ghost, the more his little paws skidded on the floor. Ghost, fascinated by this display sat down to watch, which frustrated Hissor even more. By the time I caught up with him, he was incredibly content to let me carry him back up to the kitten room.



Escape from the Bedroom

On Sunday August 23, Brownie, our little Jr Lap Fungus cuddle bug, was adopted. Although Bob and I are sorry to see him go, we felt he would get far more attention with four humans to dote on him than as one of 11 cats living with two humans. When his new family showed up, Bob and I said good bye to him and carefully put him in his new carrier. He was scared, but behaving himself. As we were carrying him out to the car, we heard an incredibly loud series of meows. Startled, we looked at Brownie, no it wasn't him. We looked over towards the source of the meows across the street. A little, (and we mean little) orange tabby kitten came running over to us, meowing his head off.

The adventure begins again........


In summary we now have:

Tia, Billie Jo, Ashley Ann, Grey Ghost and Maggie "Don't Do That" Mae as permanent residents at the Rude Ranch.

Mama Kitty is still in the third bedroom, but she is starting to let us pet her without her trying to separate our skin from our bodies.

Brownie has been renamed Nicky in honor of Uncle Nicky's restaurant and a favorite TV channel in his new home. He is doing well in his new home.

The remaining four kittens have been given limited access to the third floor of our house and are turning our upstairs hallways into a race track.

Maggie is having a good time chasing the kittens, who for the time being are still a little smaller than her. However, Goldie is catching up quick.

Our newest resident, code named Pumpkin is in quarantine in the basement exercise room. He started out in the powder room, but he kept meowing into the heat ducts and his voice carried all over the house. He is about 3 months old, not fixed, but is so friendly, he must have either belonged to someone and was dumped, or he got away from someone when they opened the door. In the meantime, we have to admit, he is the loudest cat Bob or I have ever encountered. We are hoping not to get arrested for disturbing the peace.